Thursday, February 22, 2018

Embracing Failure

“Embracing Failure”

by Peter Rengel, M.A.

In 1985, I came back to Mill Valley, California, after having spent five years traveling to other parts of the world in search of God.  As I was getting re-acquainted with Western society, I decided to start my private practice again.  To spread the word, I began advertising in a local newspaper and creating flyers to be distributed throughout Marin County.  Meanwhile, I sat on the deck of my new home meditating many hours per day, opening my Heart to receive the people I thought would be arriving on my doorstep.

At first, nothing much happened.  There were very few responses.  I began to feel unsure about my private practice getting off the ground.  As more time passed with hardly any “success,” I began to perceive this undertaking as failing.  I broke down and wept the tears of defeat for several weeks.  Then, in meditation one day, a breakthrough happened.  I saw “Peter,” the failure, through the eyes of compassion.  I began sobbing tears of gratitude for how beautiful Peter’s efforts were to offer to others all the gifts that he had received in his twenty years of seeking.  I also saw, in a very special moment, that Peter was lovable whether he “succeeded” or “failed” in his attempts to renew his work with people.  The purity of his intentions was all that really mattered.  As I fell in Love with Peter at this new level, I knew that my relationship with myself had expanded beyond a dependence on how I showed up in the external world.  I discovered a whole new definition of what being successful means.


If you can love yourself

While you feel the pain

Of seeing your life failing,

Then you are succeeding.

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