Wednesday, January 24, 2018

The Joy of Being Total

“The Joy of Being Total”

by Peter Rengel, M.A.

If you hold back from expressing your Love, your Life force begins to ebb.  Perhaps you think that someday the “right” circumstances will appear and then your Heart will open.  Maybe you are waiting for the perfect lover to come along.  You hope that someone else will magically lift you out of your dull life into heavenly bliss. If you are not expressing Love with whomever is in your Life right now, you are nailing the lid on your coffin.


When you hold back your Love

Waiting to find more elsewhere,

You learn how to wait,

Not how to Love.

“Being total” within yourself means diving fully into your own psyche.  When Socrates said, “Know thyself,” he was not just making polite conversation.  Become fascinated with your inner workings.  Look inward as you move through the external world.  Notice every nuance of your reactions to every event so that you can learn the ways you separate yourself from Life.   Focus your passion inward as well as outward.  Let your need to uncover the Truth about your inner world be so encompassing that you become excited when you sense your next fear surfacing.  Let your thirst for Truth be quenched by the most minute insight into your mind’s subtle delusions. When you are so hungry for Love that you would kill (your own ego) for it, then you are headed Home.

The Next Breath

A seeker came to a great Master and wanted to be initiated as his disciple.  The Master told him to come back in a month.  When he came back, the Master told him to wait outside for him.  After many hours of sitting outside, the seeker became quite impatient but sensed that this was some sort of a test so he continued to wait.

After several more hours, the Master finally approached him and said, “Come with me.”  The would-be disciple followed the Master’s lead to a near-by river.  When they arrived on its banks, the Master walked directly into the river.  The seeker followed without hesitation.  As they were facing each other in the water which was up to their shoulders, the Master unexpectedly leapt upon the man and held him under the water in a vice-like grip for a long time.  On the shore other disciples became extremely concerned as time kept passing.  The seeker was beginning to turn blue and unable to escape.  As he was fighting desperately for his life, for his next breath, he thought, “This guy is a madman instead of a Master.”

Suddenly, the Master released him.  The seeker sprang to the surface gasping for a gulp of Life-saving oxygen.  The Master immediately looked deeply in his eyes and said to him, “When you want Love as passionately as you wanted that breath of air, then and only then will you find it.”

Inner peace is born when you know that you are headed in the right direction.  If you are reading this book, you have already jumped into the ocean of seekers.  Sometimes you may feel as if you are drowning, but you are also gasping for that urgent, Life-seeking breath.  The wisest choice is to enjoy swimming in the ocean.  You can never return to the shore where you used to be drowning in the sorrow of living half-heartedly.

When you live totally, your life may be more emotionally chaotic.  Yet, you will also have more depth and richness and fullness.  Before choosing to “go for it,” the chaos can feel like an inward, silent desperation.  After jumping into the ocean, it changes into an overt cry for your right to live passionately.  As you purposely dive into experiences that most people run from, you learn that you can handle anything that comes your way. Instead of Life being a drudgery to endure, it transforms into a challenging and bold adventure into the unknown.

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