Thursday, February 22, 2018

Humor & Wisdom 1/11

Hi all,
It just seems to be the time for some Humor and Wisdom.  

First, the Humor:

Before they invented golf balls, how did they measure hail?

Rehab is for quitters.

Last night I lay outside looking up at the stars in the sky and wondered, “Where is the ceiling?”

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

My name is Pavlov.  Ring a bell?

I’m a vegetarian.  To satisfy my craving for meat, I eat animal crackers.

“Hello.  You have reached the Incontinence Hotline.  Can you hold please?”

Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

“Veni, Vidi, Velcro.” – “I came. I saw. I stuck around.”

I go to a self-help group for compulsive talkers.  It’s called On & On Anon.

Lead me not into temptation.  I can find the way myself.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

I’m reading a really interesting book about anti-gravity.  I can’t put it down!

I said no to drugs, but they just would not listen.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you.

Some days you are the dog, some days you are the hydrant.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

What is another word for “thesaurus”?

It there another word for “synonym”?

Did you know that half of all people are above average?

Birth control pills are tax deductible, but only if they don’t work.

And now for some Wisdom:

At the recent “Yes!” Meditation Retreat/Workshop that I led at Harbin, I realized how tricky some of my “No’s” are.  My “sacred” boundaries seem so essential to protect myself.  And they are necessary, at one level of consciousness.   But at the deeper levels, my need to control by saying “No” perpetuates my ego and separates me from being in harmony with this moment, and with the entire Universe.  
The slightest hesitation in me about anything in the external or internal world is a “No!” to Life’s mysterious ways that are beyond what my mind can understand.  As I expand to include all my experiences – my reactions, fears, joys, and contractions – I emerge inside of a gigantic “Yes!”  Then a heartfelt smile comes to my face as I am dissolving into Love’s sweet surrender.  
And, when I fall short of my ideal Peter, I can still find the tenderest compassion for my inability to let go all the way in this moment!!  If you are intrigued, I invite you into challenging yourself to find the next deeper levels of your “Yes!” – no matter what the topic – without making yourself wrong if you still need some No’s.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!