Wednesday, June 28, 2017



Humor & Wisdom 8/11


Hi all,

It’s time for some Humor and Wisdom……Enjoy!!  

Lots of Love to each of you…..Peter


First, some Humor:

Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?  A. Three – his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play? 
A. They are trying to get away from the noise.

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? 
A: It barked with de-light!

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? 
A: A zebra caught in a revolving door.

Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? 
A: Because they’ve got big fingers.

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance? 
A: He had no body to go with!

Q: What did the frog order at McDonald’s? 
A: French flies and a diet Croak.

Q: Why did the frog say meow? 
A: He was learning a foreign language.

Q: What do baby ghosts drink? 
A: Evaporated milk.

Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
 A: E-clipse it!

Q. What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive? 
A. A Minnie van!

Q: Why was the broom late?
 A: It over swept!

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors? 
A: You don’t bury survivors.

And some more:
 How do crazy people go through the forest?...........They take the psycho path
 How do you get holy water?............Boil the hell out of it.
 How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?..........She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
 What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?........"Dam".
 What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?.............Polaroids.
 What do prisoners use to call each other?................Cell phones.
 What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?...............A stick.
 What do you call Santa's helpers?.........Subordinate Clauses.
 What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?.............Quatro sinko.
 What do you get from a pampered cow?...........Spoiled milk.
  What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?..........Frostbite.
 What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?..........A pool table.
 What is a zebra?.............26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
 What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?........Sanka. and what kind of lettuce?........Iceberg.
 What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?...............A nervous wreck.
 What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?..........The taste.
 What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?............Anyone can roast beef.
 Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?...........They all have phones.

And now for some Wisdom:
 I have been broadening my definition of “pleasure” lately to include the simplest of acts – sitting under a tree watching the leaves blow in the breeze; enjoying my body’s movement as I walk; swimming laps by creatively moving my body through the water by inventing new strokes that feel good, rather than having a goal of how many laps I swim; letting food sit on my tongue for a few moments to really let my taste buds enjoy themselves; using my hair brush on my scalp in a way that feels good, noticing how good my back feels as I bend over to pick up something off of the floor, etc.
 What I am finding is that by intentionally creating “pleasurable experiences,” I am in the present tense a lot more.  That, in and of itself, has me be happier. 
 HURRAY FOR PLEASURE!!!  In its many forms.  May you slow down enough to discover Life's simplest pleasures.........

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